Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
