But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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