did you get engaged???
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
