More tranny stories later!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
