if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
