oh god the rape fog is back!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
