She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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