okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
