So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
