i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
wow bdsm is so cute
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
