btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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