i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
