Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
everyone is single if you try hard enough
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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