found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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