Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he was CRYING into my vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
