He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
