Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
