I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
