i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
