Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
