So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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