So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
