Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
