I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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