I think i peed on brittanys purse
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
