is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
