you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
oh god was she eating orange peels again
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
