Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
