Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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