i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Randomize
