where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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