Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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