Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
