just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
