I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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