Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
