Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
