So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
