Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
