maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
