There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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