I think my fart just growled at me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We're too hungover to prance.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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