i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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