I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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