we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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