The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
