Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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