Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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