we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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