he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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