it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
