You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
