I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
