I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I need moral support for this bender
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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