Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
