If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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